I just want to try this out. Since I started this blog my main purpose was to help others. Now I think that there is power in woman pulling together and supporting each other in common problems such as MEN! kids, household issues, and just being a woman in general. I have an issue this morning that I need some in put on. I need to see if I am wrong and over reacting, or if the general opinion is I am right in how I feel.
How do you feel about your husband spending the night with his mother like on an average of once a month?
And it’s not one time a planned visit. Or at least it is not planned with me should I say. Him and his mom and his family may all know ahead of time, But I do not. Now I will be fair about this and let you ladies know the facts.. his mom does live about an hour away from us, he does not get to see her a lot, and I do support him seeing his family and I have no problem with that at all. But I am ocd… I like things to be planned out ahead of time so I know what to expect, and how to prepare for it. after 8 years of marriage you would think he would know this by now right? now I am just gonna bust out with the whole story of the last 24 hrs of my life and see what input you ladies may have for me on the matter.
Yesterday we wake up and he is off to work, even tho it is Sunday he has been working 6 and 7 days a week right now trying to get all the money he can because I have not worked in over a month. And on a side note, I have shown my appreciation for the fact that he is working so hard and have done the good wife thing by completely taking care of everything else and trying to earn a little money on the side and completely supporting my man and taking care of him while he is working so hard for his family…. Any way, he was off to work and he had already told me the night before and that morning that since he was working close to his mom he was probably going to work half a day and go see his family. I was totally fine with that because You needed some down time and you was going to be close. You asked if I wanted to come meet you and go, but being as we are broke right now, and I had just had lunch with them I just said you go ahead babe. Ill stay home and work on the yard and the house and Ill see you when you get home. All was well and he went off to work.
I worked on the computer most of the morning and then my son and I worked the back flower bed over and made it look good and worked on the yard and the garden plants. around 1:00 he called to say he had just quite for the day, and he was tired and going to go visit with his mom for awhile and would be home later. Because I know it always takes awhile at his moms house, and they would want to eat with him probably… I asked him to please let me know if he was going to eat with them or if he would be home, so I would know what to cook, if anything.he said ok and we went on about our business, I was working so hard in the yard and couldn’t wait to show it to you when you got home. I was so proud of it I sent you pics of it and we chatted for a short min thru text about the yard but not about dinner or anything else for that matter.
I went on about my work and 4:30 rolled around and I took a break…. I always cook around 5:00 and you know this, once again its been 8 years… and I do the same thing every day. I send you a text and ask what your plans are for dinner, you answer back with you are not sure yet. That your grandpa is making stew, but you don’t know because you guys are still out on the boat and your phone battery is dying!?!?! Ok now what did I miss, when did the boat and going out on the water come into play? and why the hell didn’t he tell me about this? we have been so broke none of us have got to have any fun, so I may have spent the gas to come had I known you guys where going to have a fun filled family day out on the water?!?!??!! But, you just said you was going to visit and possible dinner. Again, remember I am ocd I don’t like surprises and you should know this. And your battery is now going to die? conveniently after you tell me you are out on the boat? i send 3 more text after that and no reply so I decide I need to calm down some and pull myself together because at this point I am like flaming mad! I hear nothing back from you by 8:30 so I start calling and texting everyone that is with you that has a phone to try and get a hold of you because for some reason of the 5 phones around you…. you couldn’t borrow one to let me know all was ok you would be home soon, nothing, I got nothing. Not a one of them answered a text or a phone call! by 9:00 I was right back to crazy mad again. you finally call around 9:30 by this time I just want to pop your head off your shoulders and you react with one excuse after another…. “I’m sorry, I should have thought to use someone else s phone, I just got enough charge on my phone to call you, Austins phone is dead, but he told me you texted him’…. but he didn’t answer me! ” moms phone is in the truck, jims phone is in the truck I don’t know why they didn’t answer I’ll go ask them, but grandma fell and they may have to take her to the hospital,” one excuse after another….and when I start screaming at you because I can’t take all the bs and more, you tell me you are tired and staying at your moms… going to help her take grandma to the hospital and get her loaded up and blah blah… I beg immediately for you to come home because I cant stand you not being home with me! And you know this, It is one of my triggers. It sends me straight into panic mode, crying and falling apart anxiety attack and all, and you hang up on me!!!!!!!!! omg I went nutts! Texting and you calling me ridiculous and childish and you was staying to help with your grandma and you guys where going to the hospital and she was your main concern right now!!! ok… then your mom finaly answers my text and says that you helped her get into grandma in the van and you was not with her. you guys had all went back to her house and she was taking her to the hospital. WOW really? so I bust you with the lie, you text back with your tired,I’m and you was going to bed. and you did not answer not one phone call or text from that point on until 6:30 this morning. I proceeded to get drunk and had a horrible night to say the least. I cried all night long even in the few hours of sleep that I managed to get and it all started again this morning with you saying I over reacted to spending the night with your mom and you would be home later and you just wanted to act like it was all okay that you had done all of the above listed and you would be home if you didn’t work because of rain….. I since then calmed down and text you at like 8:30 and apologized for loosing it and getting drunk, it’s now 10:00 and he is not home and has not text back. so! that’s my 24 hours! and because I know I over react to issues….. I would really like to know how you ladies would handle such a problem? And bare in mind, this happens often….. am I to blame, because that is what he says. That I drive him to do this type of thing. Or is he wrong for doing things this way and should I expect more and better from my husband?